Motherhood: Cooking Dinner, Checking Homework, and Making Disciples

Motherhood. Maybe this word evokes warm emotions, and memories of the woman who nurtured, fed, and taught you the basics of life. Perhaps, if you’re a mother yourself, you find the concept of motherhood clouded with information, opinions, and advice. We can easily feel overwhelmed by the ongoing and ever-changing standards of the world around us. Everywhere you turn, you’ll find a laundry list of what we should be doing as mothers.

What is a mother?

We seem to be fulfilling the roles of chef, chauffeur, and housekeeper all in one—a heavy load. But, in reality, we have just one task that God has called us to do.

As Christian mothers, we have one primary objective: to make disciples of the next generation while living as disciples ourselves. Before we delve into application, let’s consider our view of children and more importantly, understand God’s perspective on our kids.

What’s our mommy culture?

Scroll Instagram, and it will take approximately two seconds to locate a “funny” post complaining about #momlife, and how kids are essentially a pain in the neck. I love a good joke, but under every bit of humor flows an undercurrent of truth. If we embrace this attitude (which Allie Stuckey aptly describes as “toxic mommy culture”), we need to check ourselves. Have we bought into the self-centered lie that children are a nuisance, husbands are useless, and we’ve somehow lost ourselves in the process of raising a family?

For the Christian wife and mother, this should not be so. Let’s examine our hearts and minds together. Let’s see if what we’re thinking and feeling lines up with what God thinks and feels.

Children are a gift.

“Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.” - Psalm 127:3-5

God gives great attention to the creation of a new human being.

“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.” - Psalm 139:13-16

God desires children to be part of his kingdom.

“Then children were brought to him that he might lay his hands on them and pray. The disciples rebuked the people, but Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.” - Matthew 19:13-14

These snapshots from the Old and New Testaments give us glimpses into God’s attitude toward children. Our children may look like us, but they are his image bearers, entrusted to us for a short time. It is quite clear that they are valuable gifts from the Lord; we have the joy of participating in his plan for their lives.

Since these little people belong to the Lord, we should find out how he wants us to raise them. He has provided direction for this in his Word.

“Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” - Deuteronomy 6:4-9

This Old Testament passage paints a clear picture of parenting as a continual, gradual, persistent pattern of teaching our children the truths of God. This takes place in the natural course of life: walking, sitting, lying down, etc.

“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” - Ephesians 6:4

The first half of Ephesians is full of indicative statements. These verses declare the truth that, apart from Christ, we were dead in sin. They go on to describe God’s grace; he made us “alive together with Christ” and brought us into his family. The second half of the book contains imperatives. These verses contain specific and practical commands for how we should live, in light of our new identity as expressed in the first half of the letter through indicatives. The indicatives of the first half of Ephesians inform the imperatives of the later half of the letter.

You may be a mom who has not yet placed her trust in Jesus Christ for salvation and submitted to him as Lord of her life. If you’re unsure of what the gospel message is, please hop over to this blog post. If you have questions, please feel free to email us or message us on social media. Any member of our team would love to talk with you.

For those moms who are in Christ, we must first be disciples to make disciples. We cannot give our children what we ourselves do not possess. (If you’re not sure what discipleship looks like, this blog post is a great place to begin.)

Christian mothering overflows from Christian living.

As Christians, we are women who have been brought from death into life by the grace of God (Ephesians 2:1-10). We live God-centered lives as a result of having transformed, regenerated hearts—living as those in whom the Holy Spirit dwells. The imperatives (what we should do as Christian parents) are entirely impossible apart from the indicatives (who we are by the mercy of God). The one parenting-specific verse in Ephesians outlines our role as bringing up children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. We can obey this command only by the power of the Holy Spirit at work in us (Philippians 2:12-13).

Finally, we find an example in 2 Timothy 3:14-17 (written by Paul, to Timothy, who was discipled by his mother and grandmother). This passage exhorts Timothy to continue in what he had learned and believed from childhood, the time when he became acquainted with Scripture that made him “wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus” (2 Timothy 3:15). We can deduce from this passage that Timothy was instructed in the wonders of God, by his mother and grandmother, from a young age. It is never too early to give our kids the gospel and to demonstrate the joy in following Christ.

What does Christian motherhood look like?

So far, we have established the value of children in the sight of God, and we have touched on our responsibility to teach them his Word and how to follow him.

Now let’s talk about Christian motherhood in practical terms. We’re not going to go into every aspect of mom life. Frankly, I do not care whether you breastfed or formula-fed your baby. I don’t think it’s more godly to give your kids a strictly early bedtime or to be more flexible. And it makes absolutely no difference to me if your child is in Honors English, starting quarterback, and a piano prodigy...or not. I care about our souls and those of our children.

Moms, we must keep the first things first. Our children’s achievements in academics, sports, or any other area stand utterly meaningless when held up against the eternal destination of their souls and their spiritual growth.

If we buy our kids toys without ever giving them the gospel, drive them to practice without providing any training in righteousness, and further their education without demonstrating a life surrendered to Christ, we’re missing the main point.

To be clear, we do not hold the responsibility of saving our children. The Holy Spirit alone regenerates a human heart. But, as mentioned earlier, we are commanded to faithfully teach them the truth. We won’t do this perfectly. But even when we sin against our kids, we find an opportunity to model repentance and humility. God works through our most meager efforts in discipling our children.

Head, heart, and hands.

Head:

Commit yourself to the ongoing study of God’s Word and, secondarily, of quality books and teaching that will help you apply it to life. As you learn, teach your children. You do not need to have all the answers in order to start. Consider these, not one-and-done discussions, but the laying of a worldview foundation over time. We should not underestimate the cumulative power of brief, daily conversations with our children. Yes, even that ten minute chat on the way to school is a brick in this foundation.

Heart:

Take some time to examine your heart. Ask the Lord to reveal to you any sinful attitudes toward your family. Have you unconsciously absorbed the world’s disdainful or resentful view of kids? If so, now is a great opportunity to repent. Turn away from this sinful mentality and pray for a Biblical perspective on being a mom. Ask a friend to keep you accountable in your words, if needed.

Hands:

Take inventory of your family’s decisions. If you are married, think through this with your husband. Consider how your family spends its time, effort, thought, and resources. This paints a sometimes painfully clear picture of what we prioritize. Is your family life tangibly centered around the kingdom of God? Speaking all the right words to our kids has little impact (and could even be detrimental) if we do not seek to live what we claim to believe. As sinners, we will be guilty of hypocrisy at times (I certainly have!). But if we consistently preach one message and live another, it’s a pattern of sin of which we need to repent.

As a final encouragement, be weird. Be the mom who is unapologetically all about Jesus, who uses conversations to point to Christ. Alongside your husband, stand your ground when setting counter cultural boundaries for your children that are grounded in Scripture. Be the family who unflinchingly orients itself around raising the next generation of Christ-followers, making young disciples in the midst of a world that is walking in darkness. As citizens of heaven (Philippians 3:20-21), we should look weird. Our job is not to meet the world’s parenting standards, but to faithfully follow our King, who brought us from death to life.