This is the Life: Handling Hard Times Faithfully
Whether it’s flared anxiety from the pandemic, infertility, addictions, postpartum depression, a newly diagnosed loved one, grieving a child, or physical pain yourself, we’ve all experienced hardship. Engaging with suffering is difficult. Before we begin, let me acknowledge that this is a fragile discussion. No one has more expertise on your own heartache than you. I would never want to undermine that hurt. So please hear me say, what’s hard for you is hard. But I want us to wrestle with the question: how do we struggle well?
Questions to Consider
In reading the book of Ruth recently, I related to the female characters in new ways. In the past, I read the text as a story about a young widow who left her family for a different country with her mother-in-law only to end up beginning the Messianic line of David. I’ve always loved how God used a non-Israelite widow and a “Kinsman Redeemer” to begin the family of our own Redeemer.
However, this time I noticed something different. I noticed the trials that were faced, not only by Ruth, but also by Naomi. They each experienced insurmountable grief, physical hardship, and I can only imagine the uncertainty. Yet throughout the entire story we see in both women exceptional character and faith in God. If you’ve not read this story in awhile please do—it’s four chapters in the Old Testament that I think you’ll enjoy.
People are often “inspired” by those who remain faithful during suffering. But I wonder what we truly believe if walking away from the Lord when things get hard is even an option? Despite my grounded faith in the Lord’s goodness, I’ve desperately wanted an end to the difficult, but is it truly faith if we would abandon it when the clouds roll in? Is it all that solid if we’re jumping ship once the water gets choppy? Can you have both solid trust and desperate need for things to be different?
Yes. We see this in Jesus’ cries in the garden (Luke 22) and the three times Paul pleads to the Lord (2 Corinthians 12:8). But what’s the difference between leaning in and turning away?
Not This Hard
When things get bad, we want the suffering to end or at least not be this hard. Maybe it’s a cultural issue because we live in the land of plenty where the “American Dream” apparently still needs to be pursued, or maybe it’s sin. But our ideal world remains free of difficulty. One where we don’t think twice about the shopping spree, we effortlessly keep up with our homes because our easily conceived and birthed kids now make no messes, aren’t too loud, and make no mistakes. Also, our hair looks perfect on wash day and on dry shampoo day five.
The diagnosis never comes, the pain doesn’t rear its head, the childhood trauma never triggers, the marriage never ends, the grief never drowns, the heartache doesn’t exist, and if the “hard” does come, we breeze right through.
Not quite. That’s not the world we are living in currently. Yet, that’s how we often treat our hardships. Angry and begging for the inconvenience to end so we can get back to the perfection that, well, never actually existed now that we think about it.
Let’s return to Ruth and consider her mindset in the midst of hardships. Her actions show that she wasn’t stuck on “getting back to how things were.” Ruth left everything to live under the God of Israel, an enemy of her birth country. She was made to fully believe that whatever the God of Israel had in store for her was far better than what was behind.
Do I believe God that much? Do you?
“I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” - John 16:33, NLT
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds…” - James 1:2
The Scriptures declare that we will have difficulties in this life. Yet we often live as if they’re a mosquito that needs slapped away—instead of embracing what these trials are producing with an eternal mindset.
James continues to say this: “...for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” (James 1:3-4)
Trials aren’t meant to be ended as quickly as possible. Trials are to be enjoyed because this process leads us to reflect our Savior Jesus Christ. We embrace trials as we endure trials.
“Jesus said to him, ‘I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.’” - John 14:6
Friend, “this is the life” because it is life lived in the freedom and promise of Jesus to the glory of God the Father. And listen, I get it. Life gets unbearable. I’ve had some loud conversations with God. I’m not saying all of this as someone who has never been in the thick of it. But I can say this with full confidence because of what I’ve seen the process to holiness produce.
My 4-year-old son likes to be barefoot. What happens if he steps on a piece of glass? I gently wipe away the obvious dirt and blood so I can then take the glass out. My son has pain as I clean the area and even greater pain when I remove the glass, but both are necessary in order to avoid infection and to heal—for his foot to become whole again.
We are all covered in this gunk. It looks different for each, but it can all go by the same name—sin. And because we live in this fallen world, we will face “many trials and sorrows.” However, we have a loving Father who will use these trials and sorrows for our good. As opportunities to remove bits of that debris until we are whole, just as he intended. This is sanctification. Yes, sometimes it feels like steel wool on a sunburn.
But, sister, our mindset can make or break this process. The desire for a life of ease can make everything that much harder. If our perspective isn’t one of eternity with our holy and perfect God, we miss out on the beauty and power of the Holy Spirit at work and our faith will be rocked time and time again.
Leaning In
Our theology is applied in the valley. The trials and hardships give us space to live out what we’ve learned and, therefore, what we believe. Words are put into action, our faith can have the opportunity to be inspiring, our lives become a light.
But all of these pursuits are stalled if we aren’t developing our theology by daily putting ourselves in front of our God through prayer and Bible study. A right view of God helps us trust in his goodness, love, and sovereignty when life seems to crumble. A proper understanding of Jesus Christ’s sacrifice and grace ensures we are truly free—no longer stuck under the same rock of sin and shame keeping us from his freedom. An accurate insight of the Holy Spirit’s role and work allows us to make ourselves available to the growth and sanctification that’s asked of us as disciples.
You can’t get a suntan without being in the sunlight. We can’t be transformed by the Holy Spirit’s power without communing with the Son. And sometimes, when life is really tough, sitting with Jesus seems hard. So here are action steps—from one sojourner to another, just trying to get a “suntan”:
Do not do this alone. We were made for community—for better or worse. Do not hide your difficulties from your few no matter how embarrassing or “not that bad” you perceive this to be. We are to weep and laugh together whether it is embarrassing or the most tragic thing you’ve ever walked through. We can’t let pride keep us from leaning into this tangible gift. And if you don’t already have a community, start one. Ask trusted, spiritually mature women to pray for and with you.
Keep in step with Jesus. You must put yourself in the presence of your Creator—whether you’re yelling at him in the car or you’re sobbing on your knees at 2 am. He can do more than handle your emotions; he can turn the whole mess into something beautiful. But only by and through him. You cannot do it without Jesus who understands it all both as God and man.
Be in the Word. If you’re already regularly in the Word—stay diligent. We aren’t looking to the Word to make us feel better. We’re looking to the Word to get to know our God and this trial could shine light on a misbelief leading us astray. If you’re not already in the Word, don’t let the enemy lead you to believe that this time is too overwhelming to start. The Word is your lifeline—grab on and rest in the refuge.
“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” (Revelation 21:4)
This is our promise, friend. It’s not today; our Savior hasn’t returned yet. But he will. Until then we cling to his way, his truth, his Life. Because “this is the life.”